Word Mash: Essay 1
Silly Homeschool Gamble Anxious
Expressive Childish Mistakes Prom
Actor Car Roseland Graduation
Grades Job Creative Lazy
Athletic Highschool Movies Parties
Charming College Hollywood Burden
Lockup Police Demote
Modeling Counselor Dropout
There was this actor in hollywood who was very charming. It was amazing how he overcame his life. He was just a burden to his parents before he went to hollywood. All he did was make mistakes in his life. He went to these wild parties everynight with his friends. His parents would have to come get him from lockup the next day at the police station everytime, because he had been drunk and fighting the night before. He had the worst grades in the whole school, because he didn't do any work at all. He was finally demoted and decided to dropout.
He went to a counselor one day and ask for some advice. The counselor said you are very talented and creative. He told him one day you will be an actor. The boy didn't think this was true because he was so in love with modeling. One day at a photoshoot this famous producer told him you would be perfect for this movie im producing. He did the movie and became a hollywood star and never looked back.
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Justin,
ReplyDeleteThere is a loose cohesion to the above assignment, but it seems like you made your list on multiple subjects. Or, you at least are shifting subjects within the paragraphs.
This seems like you might have gone through the list and just picked words. You can't just do that. As the writer, you still have the power over the words, overall. There is some odd jumps from sentence to sentence --"He had the worst grades..." doesn't seem to be a smooth transition from the last sentence. One is on jail, the other is on school: two different topics.
This exercise is most successful when you use the words for building on one subject up in any one piece.
grade: 5/5 (for doing exercise)